Here's a question:
I pay private utilities for my heat (Northwest Natural) and my lights (PGE), so why am I stuck paying the government for my water?
That's socialism, isn't it? Why is the city of Portland meddling in something that private industry could obviously do better? After all, this is a country built on the principles of capitalism, so why should we allow the government --the People's Republic of Portland, no less-- to own and operate our water system?
Well, for all us victims of government ineptitude and bureaucratic bumbling, help may be on the way. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has demanded that the city do something about its dangerously contaminated water supply. Crytosporidium will kill us all unless our water is filtered and our reservoirs covered.
That will cost Portland a bundle. So much so, in fact, that the city will be forced to -- privatize its waterworks! That's right. Portland's Water Bureau will be outsourced to some private company that actually knows how to run a water system. No more computer billing cost overruns here. And a safe and reliable source of water for all us long suffering citizens. It's the PGE model. Thank god the city didn't get its hands on our electricity.
Some of you non-libertarians out there may be skeptical. Let me just remind you that this is the era of privatization, and that George W. Bush is the President. Maybe Social Security privatization hasn't gone so well, but Medicare is still up for grabs. And so is our socialistic public education monopoly. No Child Left Behind is gradually weakening and undermining that failed venture. Just look at how student enrollment in Portland's public schools is plummeting.
Those of you who have lived here forever may never have heard of private water utilities, but let me assure you, they exist. According to the State Environmental Resource Center (a benighted outfit that opposes water privatization), 33% of all American water systems are in private hands.
The left-wing kooks at AlterNet are also against privatization. They chime in with this rant:
"The trend of privatized water is quickly sweeping the country in diverse ways. Most popular is the bottled water phenomenon -- a marketing gimmick that has duped consumers into believing that water parceled into little plastic bottles and priced 200 times higher than tap water is somehow chic and healthy."
Yeah. The "bottled water conspiracy". That's a good one.
Fortunately, the reasonable folks at the Reason Foundation (libertarian, of course) counter the progressive Cassandras with some hard-headed research, concluding that water privatization adds up:
"The key is transparency and accountability, and the track record of privatization shows that accountability exists except in rare cases."
Except in rare cases? Hmmm. Maybe we should hold off on water privatization until we can clear up some of those uncertainties.
In fact, let's keep an open mind about this whole issue of public ownership of utilities. Come to thinks of it, PGE's rates are kind of high. Really high!
Maybe "socialism" isn't so bad after all.
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